Lack of Parental Guidance

            During the teenage years one’s personality is still forming. The period of time itself is commonly referred to as being the “formative years.” One can think about this time as being somewhat similar to a slab of clay. Different forces and influences are all at play in shaping the clay which in turn, becomes the product of each. Parents serve a vital function in the lives of teenage children because it is during this time period that teenagers are introduced to certain situations that they probably haven’t come across as of yet. Unfortunately, many factors prevent parents and their teenage sons and/or daughters from spending enough time with each other. Now there is no proper way to quantify how much time is enough but given the argument, we’ll just say that enough means the time required to really help teenagers come to terms with the difficulties of this time period. Conflicting schedules as well as teenagers feeling that it isn’t necessarily “cool” or “in” to spend time with their parents keep them passing like two ships in the night and this is where the problem arises.

When parents or guardians are not in the picture as influential figures, teenagers become more susceptible to peer pressure and this is only natural considering the fact that aside from their home, school is the other domain of social interaction. A teen who does not spend much time with his or her parents is more susceptible to the beliefs (and guidance) of his or her peers. There are situations in which teenagers become friends with others and share positive experiences rooted in a healthy friendship but there are also those situations in which teens who are lacking the proper guidance at home from their parents or guardians find themselves being led into troublesome situations. A teenager is interacting at all times whether it is with fellow peers, parents, television, computers, etc. They are constantly processing information and a significant amount of that information affects the person they become. The teenager who is not getting the proper guidance and advice from parents is getting it from someone and in many cases, that someone is causing detrimental effects.

Teens will find themselves in a position where they need social interaction. If we are to believe that no man is an island than we must apply that to the case of a teenager who will go out of his or her way to be friends with someone to compensate for a lack of social interaction at home. Often times, the teenager will take part in illicit activities just to gain the acceptance of others. Knowing that they can find themselves being completely ostracized at both home and school if they don’t conform, teenagers will resort to whatever it takes to maintain friendships whether they agree with it or not. They will willingly accept the beliefs of others and given the fact that they are so impressionable at this age, this can be a very dangerous thing. It is up to the parents or guardians of teenagers to serve as a moral compass of sorts and try to be there to point out what is right and wrong. It is easy for the parent/teenager relationship to slip through the cracks due to the aforementioned circumstances so it is imperative for the parent to make an effort to try and spend time with their child and try to point them in the right direction or at the very least, offer them insight on how they can do it on their own.

Parents must be willing to set boundaries and enforce certain rules pertaining to what they feel is in the best interest of their children. A teen’s personality is still very much a work in progress so it is up to the parents to exercise their better judgment and put it into play. Parents should let their teenage son or daughter know that they can talk to them whenever they need to and about whatever they want. The parent must make themselves accessable to the teen or else risk the repercussions that may come as the result of the latter giving into peer pressure. It is up to the parent to help guide the teenager and make them aware of the potential difficulties that they will face during these years. The parent should try and help the teenager differentiate when peer pressure is steering them in the wrong direction and when it may be socially acceptable. At the same time, the parent can help the teen determine on their own whether or not the people he or she is associating with are worthwhile friends.